You are currently browsing the monthly archive for March 2007.

Wilfredo O. Pascual, who received a Carlos Palanca Memorial Award for Literature a few years ago just visited my blog yesterday. I was flattered, though I do not know if he was really that one. At the end of the message, he mentioned Perry, that is, Perry Irish H. Duran, a classmate, whom I try to court. Haha. I do not know how on earth did Sir Willi knew that one. I am thinking that it could be prank or something. Haha. It is just too good to be true. Haha.

I am still on Cloud 9. Sana totoo. The only thing to confirm this is through him, too. I need to see my name on his blogroll. Sabi kasi nya sa comment, ilalagay daw niya link namin ni Ate Coreen. Haaay.

By the way we had our Tea Party this afternoon and I let the whole school to know that this controversial post The Things We Really LOVE to Say do truly exist. I even read the first few paragraphs. Very courageous indeed. And the principal was there, listening to every word I say. Ako lang ata ang may speech na negative comments-dominated. Hehe. And I think it was the shortest one. Kasi si Rodel kanina thirty minutes atang nagsasalita. Hehe. Peace Rodz.

At least I said it. At last. I just mentioned the first three paragraphs of the post so that they would go to my blog to check for it. Haha. That could contribute to higher blog hits. Haha.

The thing to that: I didn’t mention my blog’s URL. 😀

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Being courageous and being worried are complimentary. As you stand up courageously to speak up what you really want to say, fear is still on your back; you fear of being condemned and punished by those who does not agree and are affected with every words you say. This time, I will try to be courageous enough to say what many of us in our batch might want to say for the past years.

For the past four years we have spent our lives studying in our dear alma mater, we did not dare to go on streets and be rebellious to the administration. We tried to be the most obedient batch ever and we did not go against any of their decision, may it be a simple issue, or an issue with most of us involved. We did not dare to stand up and point out every detail of wrong doings and misbehavior the faculty does, may it be libelous, scandalous, or whatsoever. We remained to shut our mouths up and everything we know just remained within our vicinity. We were touted as the “pinakamabait” among others, and that tag remained to be one of the most treasured.

As we go on and face the next stage of our schooling life, we cannot leave the institution without telling the administration the things we really want to tell that for the past four years we have remained silent.

Being one of the victims of our crumbling and old grading system, we appeal for an improvement. We are aware that not only us, but many of us, may they be still studying on this institution or already on roads making a living, demand for the improvement or should I say modification of this stinking grading system. The grading system favors early bloomers and removes the chance for late bloomers to attain academic awards. The best performers on the first years often emerge the best performer in the last year, and those who didn’t perform well on the first year does not have any chance to have academic awards later in their high school life because of grade requirements.

More on grading system is the deteriorating curricula the school has been keeping for thirty years. It is observable that quality of education has indeed incomparable with other science-based high school. Courses, which should have been removed earlier, remain. It is also evident that the school’s performance in competition is declining. For this year, the school failed to get first place on any major competition and the national public high school dominated most competition. Our intelligence was almost wasted with the old and rotting curricula we have today. Though we know that the school is on the process of revolutionizing the curriculum, we still wished that this change could have been implemented earlier.

Recently, the faculty held their academic council to find out which students should attain academic awards to be given on the recognition day. Sad to say, but not every award was given because of certain “requirements” that should not be there. For example, the Math Award, this included a requirement to have a grade no less than 83 ON ANY SUBJECT. I still ask the heavens if the Math Award was formerly called Math Et Al. Award.

Plus the Campus Journalism award was not given to my friend because (as far as I know, on what I’ve heard from my friend and from other people) of his so called” trouble-making” inclination. He was qualified for the award, but the decision of the administration is final. Those people who voted not to give the award does not know my friend’s dedication and love for the school paper. They did not know his sufferings; he developed bronchitis because of a series of sleepless cold nights trying to publish the school paper on time. They did not think of the awards and recognition Mark won for the school’s honor.

We hate it when teachers go on digging our personal matters. Some of them try to be mother and father-like that even personal issues about friends, family problems and the like are asked for us to reveal. We love them when they care, but we hate them when they are asking us too much information to reveal. Huwag daw masamain. Oh, I see.

Some of the teachers should develop better teaching strategies. A friend said: “Bawal kang sumweldo nang hindi nagtuturo”. Is asking students to report lessons all throughout the grading period then asking them to submit summaries of TEXTBOOKS considered teaching? Is reading visual aids also considered teaching? Yes, it is teaching in a sense that it develops patience, self-reliance, confidence and other moral values, but hey, isn’t a teacher should stand at the classes front doing some spontaneous discussion on the topic? I know that the idea of a good teacher for me seems too typical, but sometimes being archetypal is better than modern yet untested. A good teacher also should make a so-boring subject an exciting subject and lessons in it to be looked forward to.

We hate it when they accuse us of misconduct we never really did. We are often accused to stay late at night on dark areas of the campus doing malevolent actions. In addition, we hate it when they regard us as “stupid.”

Teachers should also reach out to the hands of the children and should not be on “gods and goddesses” status. We do not mean that we want an equal treatment between students and teachers, and we still believe that there should still be a barrier between them, but teachers should not act as royalties and dictators. They are rightful to be respected: they are our mentors and masters. Nevertheless, I believe that respect is only given to those who deserve it, to those persons who live their life as a role model to students like us.

The thing I really hate about the school, particularly the administration is that they often do not consider parents and students comments in fastidious issues like grading system revolution and curriculum improvement. I heard one saying, “Your opinions are just opinions. We rule, and you cannot penetrate our decisions.” That is of becoming too dictatorial. Although we are still young, but still, we know what is right and we know what is best. Our minds were fixed to believe that democratic and free governance is still the best way to hold people, to make them follow, and to lead everyone in a systematic and good future. However, this ideology taught often in social science and values class was never applied in their own administration. The decisions made are only between the principal and the faculty, then only relayed to us students.

We have many things to say, many things we wished we had raised and questioned for the past years we’ve transformed our school as our second residence. Alam naming huli na. We cannot do anything about it now. Nevertheless, we wish that later batches would realize someday that the alma mater we loved and treasured has also its bag of unscrupulous and deceiving lies.

Congratulations to my super colleagues Homer Lindain and Faye Casimero for being the Valedictorian and Salutatorian of USHS Graduating Class 2006-2007, respectively!

I also want to congratulate Eriel May Bandong for being the Athletic Awardee! And to everyone who has awards but are not mentioned in this blog, congrats na rin! Haha!

I am now using my PC now with every nice features and my favorite programs installed gone. Huhuhu. I can’t live without Photoshop. I can’t live without my HS photos…huhuhu…

And the fact that I am not the only one who have experienced PC mayhem! My other classmates are still on the verge of fixing their PCs. The virus spreading in our systems is reported to be from our own computer laboratory. Even authorities at school has really hard time to fix the problem. A strange kind of virus spreads…and no one in our batch knows any cure. Haha. oh. Huhu. 😀

And please, to all readers of my blog, I won’t tolerate any SPAM comments on my blog. Please leave sensible and worth-reading comments. 😀 Thanks!

My laptop is the only resort! My PC is still undergoing much repair (or should I say overhaul!)

And yeah, my friend Rodel and I talked yesterday about the Philippine Blog Awards where an alumnus of our school became a nominee and at the same time Kuya Bikoy, a future schoolmate (schoolmate daw, o!) was nominated and qualified as one of the finalists. We started to daydream and wished that someday, both of us be also nominated like them. Haha.

And last night, I wished to die. Yeah! Not joking!:D

I didn’t go to school this whole day for I still feel freedom of speech-deprived. No, not because i wasn’t able to post entries as often as I used to do. Maybe my father wants many things to be incorporated into my mind that for now still I cannot accept myself. Understanding and accepting a value does not just come in instant. It undergoes a process. I hate to say it, but I think he wants to have a duplicate of him through me.

We had a fight yesterday, which I can’t really detail now. I still feel much hurt. But despite everything, I still love him so much.

I can’t use my PC for a couple of days. I sent my PC to a repair shop (repair shop? don’t know. :D) Plus, my laptop is still not functional because of similar reasons: virus. So I am at our computer lab to do some blogging. 😀

The NCAE results are so stunning: I got “just okay” remarks (if you call that humility!). The results are as follows:

 General Scholastic Aptitude

Scientific Ability- 98 Reading Comprehension- 99 Verbal Ability- 97 Mathematical Ability 99

Overall GSA: 99+

Technical-vocational Aptitude

Clerical Ability- 92 Manipulative Skill- 90

Overall TVA: 96

Non Verbal Ability- 99+

Entrepreneurial Ability- 99+

Occupational Field of Interest: Artistic (includes directors, actors, radio/TV announcers and MAKEUP ARTISTS. WTF!

As you can see, NCAE DOES show my real occupational field of interest. Is it effective or just coincidental? I don’t know.

The thing that I just want NCAE to do: Give Cash Incentives to high pointers! haha. Just joking. I know the Philippine government cannot afford such incentives.

Ooops. I’m using the school PC without paying for it. Haha. I’m so evil! Got to go before the computer aide sees me.

It’s a really annoying thing na kahit anong gawin mong pagdelete and pagclean sa mga virus na ito eh ayaw talagang matanggal…huhuhu…

I need to see someone who knows to fix problems like these! Help? Help? Anyone out there?

I should have scanned the flash disk of my Tito before opening files…tskstskstk…

I accomplished almost all of my requirements (well except my thesis which is to undergo some editing) so i am almost 85% sure of being a 2007 graduate. Though I don’t have the chance of graduating without a line-of-seven grade, ayos na rin yon. At least I am finishing my HS. Ayoko nang umasa. It is a great feeling that you need not to think of things to be done the next day. Napakafulfilling!

Napakalungkot pa rin isipin na gagraduate na ako and I need to part ways with my usual kabarakadas. Haaay.

Need to rest. I was too tired the whole week because of cramming!

News for everyone: The NCAE or the National Career Assessment Examination results was already released. Sa monday ko pa makukuha ang card ko sa NCAE so irereport ko na lang sa inyo kung ano ang nakuha ko. 🙂

My works are not for a contest. They are not for competition. My proses are bad, and every news article I made looks like a piece of trash. I am not really a writer. I am just a storyteller, but never a journalist.

Truth hurts, but I learned to deal these pain through constant repetition of sorrow, constant viewing of truth. The times I write prose are the times I stab myself. However, those stab wounds I tried to heal never did healed. They continue to bleed, and these wounds bleed much when I see good prose and good articles, which, was never like mine.

When I was in my elementary years, I never felt that I was the worst among us in writing. Everything I did was perfect. As I started to join contests on campus journalism and win them, I said to myself that I am for this genre. Writing is my career. I said to myself then that when I grow up, I would be a writer, creating news and articles for news companies that need my service. I am good at this job, and no one should stop me from doing it.

I believe in those lies for a long time, and I was confident enough that everyone would appreciate my work. I believed my teachers then. They said that I do not need any training. It was inborn. I have my sister then who excelled at this career, and I would be like her when I grow up. I did not blame my teachers. They are far good to me; they never deprived me of praises and recognition. However, all they said are lies, lies and much lies.

High school came, bringing my confidence with me, chin up; I walked by the campus with the lies I knew then as truth. I brought with me honors I received through writing and showed it to people to convince them that I am good at this game. Though these medals are gold, they did not saw it as gold. I was just treated as a writer wannabe, with a trying-hard grammar and a very lousy vocabulary. The writer in me became a stranger in his own body.

It annoyed me much. To get in an elite organization of writers still took me two painful years. Again, after being accepted, I endured another two painful years of humiliation and red marks on my obra maestra. They vandalized my beautiful piece, edited words, deleted sentences that seems not to be necessary. I knew that it was for improvement, though I do not know that it needs to be this agonizing. My mentor gave me a flaming torch but quickly blew it off after I savored its radiance. She said that I am becoming of a good writer, though I tend to be wordy at times.

I tried not to take these criticisms seriously, though as I hear them day-by-day, it shaped a hollow mark on my heart and it released the confidence I then contained. There is no confidence, no air, and no self-assurance inside me. All I felt is that I am a piece of wood, to be chopped, stomped, and fired. I am very empty. Stupid.

In my life as a young writer at my school, I was never appreciated. Though I tried to apply the constructive criticisms they regularly give, I still cannot see the satisfying looks on their face when they read my works. It is hard to please anybody, but the sad thing is that I have not pleased someone yet. Through these experiences, mortification, and frustrations, I started to conclude: The people behind those compliment lied to me, after all.

I cannot blame anyone. The fault is in me. As I try to impress other people through my works, the more my writing becomes hideous. It may look like I am a loser and I am person who cannot seek for self-improvement. I am filled. The effect of unvarying disapproval and mock on my work is not, after all, good to me.

After all these things, I still salute my alma mater for teaching me painful, though good lessons, which formed me to become a stronger person I am today. I have to admit. I learned how to write better through them.

Behind the agony, I still have the hope in me. Maybe there would come a time that these persons who have disgraced me and had put me down even though I am already below, would reach out for my hands to congratulate me for a job well done. I dream of becoming a better writer someday. Perhaps I would excel much in writing on other institutions of learning. Not at my dear alma mater, who had caused much happiness and pain. I wish that they could read this, those persons who made me blubber for failure. I still dream good dreams.

I think that this would be my last prose for my high school life. It is my last prose that I filled with distress, resentment, anger and disappointment for those persons who I thought would take my hand and accompany me to success, but in the end left me to ruins. I wish them the best.

Huh! It is our Exam Week this week. It’s been a hard time for me. I didn’t review much, and I spent much time doing nonsense. Nevertheless, it is just okay.

I spent much time watching HappySlip videos. They are really funny and relaxing. I hope that someday I can create such videos. Haha.

Update: I am rank 10 at the Central Luzon State University College Admission Tests. After having the SLU results I didn’t feel much excitement and didn’t even feel proud. FYI, 23 of our batch at USHS was included at the Top 100. Haha.

But still, CLSU and SLU won’t stop me from going to UP! UP, here I come! 😀

PS. Maybe I wont have daily updates for my blog this week. Very busy. :))

AkoSiHyro

AkoSiHyro is a blog by Jessehyro Tito P. Aguinaldo, a college senior at the University of the Philippines-Diliman taking BA Film and Audio-Visual Communication, who dreams of just earning enough money regardless of the job.

He is the current Executive Vice President of the UP Cineastes' Studio, the premier student film organization of the Philippines.

He is also a proud member of the Student Alliance for the Advancement of Democratic Rights in UP - College of Mass Communication (STAND UP - CMC).

[MORE about Hyro]

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Every literary piece such as poems, prose, and rants posted on this blog cannot be posted elsewhere unless permitted by the owner. Inquiry for permission to repost is hugely appreciated.

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