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Parang one month ago lang nang nagsimba ako sa Holy Family Parish Church sa Roxas District, Quezon City para ipagdasal ang kapalaran ng bid ng org namin for FOPC. Dinasal ko talaga na sana huwag maging failure ang pagtatangka namin dahil sabi ko nga, baka magkanervous breakdown ako pag hindi namin nakuha ang film block.

Andami kasing isinakripisyo ng mga members ng UP Cineastes’ Studio para lang sa bid para sa K4 block. Pera, panahon, acad things.

Sa tuwing naiisip ko ang ilang mga bagay ang ginawa ko para sa FOPC na ito, napapangiti na lang ako. Naaalala ko:

  • Kung paano ako nagdecide na kumuha ng CWTS kahit pwede namang hindi dahil ito lang naman ang pwede kong idahilan para makaluwas ako ng Maynila noong summer.
  • Kung paano ako umabsent ng mapailang beses sa CWTS ko para pumunta sa mga meetings ng FOPC at wala akong pakialam kung ma-drop ko ang subject na yon.
  • Kung paano dapat na matahimik kong apakan at pipiin ang mga PET bottles at mga aluminum cans dahil ayaw kong makaistorbo ang mga kabahay ko sa Kalay. At diretsong apat na oras kong ginagawa iyon sa isang araw.
  • Kung paano ko pilit pinagkasya ang mga ito sa maliit kong kwarto at tiisin ang mala-alak nang amoy ng ilang boteng hindi tuluyang natanggalan ng laman.
  • Kung paano ko tiniis ang hiya sa katawan matapos akong iwan ng roommate ko dahil hindi na siya makatiis sa amoy at sa kalat ng kwarto namin.
  • Kung paano ako nakaapak ng staple wire galing sa mga papel at dumugo ng bongga ang paa ko. Takot ko pang ma-tetano.
  • Kung paano ko pinigil na hindi maiyak sa pagpapagalit at pagbibintang sa akin ng nakatataas sa Kalay na ginagamit ko daw ang pasilidad ng dorm para kumita ng pera. Ibinebenta ko daw ang mga PET bottles na dinadala ko sa kwarto ko.
  • Kung paano ko iniyakan ang mga moments na nalalaman kong lamang ang kalaban at hindi ko alam kung saan kukuha ng lakas at resources.
  • Kung panno ako bumuhat ng gerlat sa balikat ko for 3 minutes nonstop para manalo sa isang game sa Sportsfest.
  • Kung paano ako natutong magtextbrig para mangulit ng mga taong magdala na sila ng mga items nila kahit alam kong nakukulitan na sila sa akin.

Marami. At siyempre hindi lang naman ako. Lahat kaming nag-effort sa FOPC may sari-sariling storya. This is COLLABORATIVE EFFORT. Lahat kami siguro, may mga moments na gusto na naming iyakan. Pero worth-it naman. Nakuha namin ang Film Block. Iyon ang importante. At ngayon kailangan naman naming harapin ang susunod na step.

Ang pag-aalaga sa block na pinaghirapan namin.

Congratulations
CINEASTES!
Maraming salamat sa lahat!

Gusto ko pa ng unlimited internet at magpahanggang umagang panonood ng mga downloaded movies.

Pagkain ng masasarap na luto ni Mommy at unlimited rice na parang hindi kami mauubusan talaga.

Gusto ko pang mahiga sa King-sized bed sa kwarto ni Yeng at tumapat ng magdamag sa madumi at maalikabok na electric fan na ang tatak ay Standard.

Gusto ko pang manood ng Pinoy Idol at malaman kung sino ang susunod na matatanggal.

Babay Bevs. Babay Elliot. Mamimiss ko kayo

Gusto ko pang magmotor at lumibot-libot sa paligid-ligid ng lalawigang akala ko’y paraiso na dahil mas maganda pala ang lugar na ito kaysa sa mga dumi at init ng maynila.

At yung okay lang na hindi ka maligo dahil nasa loob ka lang naman ng bahay.

Yaaaaaaak. Bitin ang bakasyon. Lalo na’t isang linggo lang ang bakasyon ko.

Well actually ang paniwala ko kami ang centennial freshies noong kapapasok ko pa lang sa UP pero ang incoming freshies pala ang may hawak ng distinction na ito, so, okay!

Nandun ako sa isa sa FOP na naganap sa Diosdado Macapagal Hall sa School of Economics dahil nag-usher/ assistant keme ako sa mga stage directors. Andaming freshies! At nakikita ko sa mukha nila enthusiastic din sila tulad ko noon. Excited, ganyan. Well I wish mag-enjoy sila first year nila sa UP!

Angweird lang na dinidiscourage ng admin na mag-org ang mga freshies na ultimo sa mga survival kits ng mga freshies ay bawal nang maglagay ng mga advertisements regarding orgs. Pati yung mga host ng FOP nung araw na yon ay parang nareprimand at pinaalalahanan na huwag magbanggit ng mga promotion ek-ek sa mga orgs. Angweird. Ang mga orgs naman lalo na yung mga academic orgs ay nandiyan naman para suportahan ang mga freshies lalo na sa mga academic needs nila. Siguro nakaapekto yung mga events na naganap sa mga frat last year kaya siguro naging ganito ang treatment ng admin sa mga orgs. Well, nasa handbook naman ng mga freshies na bawal magjoin ng frat in their first year.

Pero ito personal ko nang statement: MAKAKATULONG ANG ORGS SA MGA FRESHIES. According to personal experience na yan. Lalo na’t ang blocking system sa UP ay parang wala naman talagang kwenta, makakatulong ang orgs sa pagbuo ng relationship with other UP peeps. Importante ang socialization lalo na sa period of adjustment ng mga freshies dahil mahirap talaga yung walang kaibigan sa unang year.

Sa totoo lang nilu-look forward ko noong araw ng FOP na may makita akong Film freshies dahil ako noon ay napakaenthusiastic makakita talaga ng mga film students. Ganyan. Sa course na film kasi importante yung may mga kakilala ka at koneksyon, ganyan.

Mga freshies, go lang sa buhay! Kayang kaya nyo ang UP! Make a difference! Go sa acads! Go sa org! 😉

It maybe very odd and crazy, but I considered summer as one of the most unexciting seasons. Since terms are usually over at summer and it’s like two dreadful months of empty pockets and vacant time, I am really not sure of what to do and like how to spend time with a lousy budget. And yes, I am not actually fond of doing chores for the family like any other teenager do, nor am I fond of attending dreadful summer clinics that can be considered a huge squander of money.

Well, that was before, since I just made this summer pleasurable and momentous for me. Yes, maybe for the most of it. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve been keeping myself busy this past few weeks. I’m having my CWTS course and had to build houses for less fortunate brothers. My org is equally giving me much job and it is as demanding as my required course since we are a member organization of this year’s Freshmen Orientation Program Committee. Well, I can’t (and would not) decline because as the organization’s EVP, it’s also my task and responsibility to keep everything under control.

Yes, I would just admit that summer isn’t all fun. Sometimes, I’m feeling more of exhausted and tired of every little thing I must handle. Summer for me is no rest time. I often dreamed of just relaxing and sleeping all day and watching movies without anything bothering me. Without any problems to think of solving.

And yes, a summer without anyone troubling my mind.

I’m really sorry for being mushy and all, but I must tell that I’m easily attracted to persons who gives unusual amount of attention to me. May it be in the good sense or in the bad sense. Kung mabait o hindi, it doesn’t matter. I tend to interpret these things on the craziest ideas. Pag sobra kang mabait, akala ko iba na to. I assume things, and that’s the worst part in falling for someone; you assume that there could be a chance of both of you being romantically involved with each other, well in fact, ikaw lang pala ang nakakaramdam nito at para sa kanya, natural lang yon at walang halong kahit na ano…And the problem with me is that I’m really slow when decoding body language. I’m somehow misinterpreting things too much that I’m making myself believe na may ibig sabihin ang mga nakikita at naririnig ko.

This is completely weird.
Mysterious gazes upon my eyes, lingering touches, awkward glances and ‘mga panakaw na tingin’, songs which make me melt upon hearing them, very sungit moments on one moment then very sweet encounters on the other.
I know this may be a typical day for me, but no.
Is it just me who’s painting colours to these encounters or is it really REAL?
I’m confused. And if you happen to be this weird person (or you know this person), send me a message. I want a confirmation.
And if this is true, I would like to let you know that you’re driving me crazy.

It’s been the very little reason why I’m emotional for the past few days. Some of my friends witness my strange attitudes and actions for the past days: I keep silent on moments of laughter and talks of common interest; I walk out from online conversations and wouldn’t answer friend’s questions regarding how I really feel; I send group messages as if I’m someone who’s Kulang sa Pansin; I engage to quarrels without any valid reason. I even excused myself one time of overexposing my eyes underwater in the pool to explain the strange redness of my eyes well in fact, I was just silently crying while everyone’s enjoying their noisy water games inside the pool.

I am really not comfortable of talking about my problems in life with friends because I tend to become more of the tagapayo than the tagahingi ng payo. Or maybe because I’m just anxious of what people would say if relate things to them. I’m just afraid of showing them everything. So pwedeng sabihin na ang nakikita ninyo ay hindi buong ako. And when we talk about love, I make sure I don’t tell everything. Najojologs-an ako madalas sa sarili ko when I talk about love. Basta, nakakadiri, nakakairita. At ayaw ko talagang ikwento lahat ng detalye tungkol dito dahil sa totoo lang, napakadelikado at hindi ako sigurado.

But I know at this point, I’m starting to move on. I need to live in the real world. Hindi ko kailangang subukang basahin ang isang librong hindi ko maintindihan kung ano ang nais niya talagang ipahiwatig, o kung meron man talaga siyang nais iparating. I’m getting tired of reading this person. I just hope that someday this person makes everything clear to me and I should do the same. I guess I’m just afraid of rejections. I just want to make sure. This time.

I had a lot of work to do. More work. More opportunities to find myself.

AkoSiHyro

AkoSiHyro is a blog by Jessehyro Tito P. Aguinaldo, a college senior at the University of the Philippines-Diliman taking BA Film and Audio-Visual Communication, who dreams of just earning enough money regardless of the job.

He is the current Executive Vice President of the UP Cineastes' Studio, the premier student film organization of the Philippines.

He is also a proud member of the Student Alliance for the Advancement of Democratic Rights in UP - College of Mass Communication (STAND UP - CMC).

[MORE about Hyro]

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