Yeah. Barely legal. Yet I’m still like this. I hate it.

There
are a lot of times I think of myself as someone who’s already mature
enough to face the world out there. But I still have this fear in me
that I’m really unprepared to be officially legal. Like I want to be
seventeen forever. It’s weird, really really weird that I’m actually
not anticipating the day when I turn an adult. It makes me
so…so…ANGRY of myself. I really don’t know, but just thinking of
that day, thinking of that very day makes me feel sick, like I want to
hit something very hard or keep myself inside a room forever or
something.

But of course, I definitely couldn’t stop time. Every
passing minute is drawing me nearer and nearer to that damned day. Well
I just want to do something significant before that day. I want a
life-changing moment before I leave minorhood (if such term exists).
Just for me to have something to say when I grow old, just for me to be
able to say “I did this when I am seventeen”.

I just want to sleep, because reality is more of a nightmare to me.