Yeah. Barely legal. Yet I’m still like this. I hate it.

There
are a lot of times I think of myself as someone who’s already mature
enough to face the world out there. But I still have this fear in me
that I’m really unprepared to be officially legal. Like I want to be
seventeen forever. It’s weird, really really weird that I’m actually
not anticipating the day when I turn an adult. It makes me
so…so…ANGRY of myself. I really don’t know, but just thinking of
that day, thinking of that very day makes me feel sick, like I want to
hit something very hard or keep myself inside a room forever or
something.

But of course, I definitely couldn’t stop time. Every
passing minute is drawing me nearer and nearer to that damned day. Well
I just want to do something significant before that day. I want a
life-changing moment before I leave minorhood (if such term exists).
Just for me to have something to say when I grow old, just for me to be
able to say “I did this when I am seventeen”.

I just want to sleep, because reality is more of a nightmare to me.

After disgustingly seeing someone making love in front of the internet cafe computer and experiencing the rage and/or grief of one customer and sharing his tears (or mucus, i dont know) literally, strange and often awkward experiences in Internet Cafes are relatively not new to me.

Well sa totoo lang natatawa na naman ako since i’m again into the wonders of the Internet Cafe. See, beside me is a group of noisy, giggling kids (when I say kids, their age is from 8-10). At first, seeing kids in an internet cafe this late at night is already strange, I mean, hindi ba sila hinahanap ng magulang nila?

And of course, pag bata ang naiisip kong may hawak ng computer, ang naiisip ko, naglalaro sila ng dress-up sa my scene o kaya naglalaro ng flash games. And I found out that they’re giggling over their friendster accounts (are kids allowed to have their own accounts?) and are pointing on some photos who they say are their girlfriends.

Well, pinalampas ko lang iyon, okay, then, they started trying to fit their seven bodies on the unfortunate monoblock chair. What are they doing? Well, they want a group photo so the computer beside me was transformed into a photo booth. They are really becoming too noisy and annoying.

So after several minutes, they seemed to be behave (they had put themselves still and quiet) but then I hear strange giggles and hisses. Then I heard one saying “Hoy, angbastos nyo naman”.

To my surprise, I saw them watching porn. And no one seemed to care.

At oras na naman ng mahabang pila, dahil 9 units lang ang naenlist ko sa CRS ay isa na namang pakikipagsapalaran ng palakasan, patatatagan at patigasan ng tuhod sa super habang proseso ng enrollment sa UP.

Siyempre kailangang magtiyaga dahil kung hindi ay wala akong makukuhang subjects. Haaaay, sa lahat ng mga pangyayari sa UP, enrollment ang pinakayaw ko, nakakainis na, nakakapagod pa. Sana na lang ay bakasyon na uli dahil tinatamad na talaga akong pumasok ng eskwela. Burnout siguro ito bilang noong summer ay wala akong bakasyon at sobrang marami ang nangyari last sem.

Oo nga pala, congrats naman sa akin at na-maintain ko ang college scholar standing ko. Angsayasaya naman. Akala ko nung una hindi ako CS dahil sa kabobohan ko sa pagkocompute ng GWA, pero ayun pala okay naman ang average ko. Thank God.

Okay, my Film 112’s done and over, so masaya na ako (masaya???). Tapos na ang mga haggard moments at mga okrayan portion sa bawat klase. Tapos na ang paghihirap na makahanap ng artista at pagpapagod gumawa ng konsepto. I love it. As in.

Pero in fairness mamimiss ko ang Film 112. First production class ko ito at dito ko nagawa nag first short film ko. Haaaay siguro pagtagal pa ng kaunti, maaalala ko kung gaano karidiculous ang mga bagay na nagawa ko sa subject na ito.

Natapos ko naman ang short film ko (Apotheosis ang title, yung ibig sabihin niya, i-search nyo na lang haha) at masaya naman ako sa resulta. Madali naman kasi akong makuntento. Well anyway, kung ganoon nga, ay ayaw ko nang magdwell ng matagal sa prod kong ito. Nakakasawa din kasi na paulit-ulit siyang tingnan bilang ako na ang angshoot, nag-edit. Hahaha.

Screencap? Ito.

Ang-pierce mo!

Kung maririnig mo ang mga katagang ito, ikaw ay either a.) trying hard na pasosyal b.) huma-high fashion ng hindi kailangan c.) sinusubukang magpronounce ng mga french terms to no avail d.) sumusubok mapabilang sa alta sociadad kahit hindi naman kaya. And so on.

Iba ang “pierce” sa “fierce”. Ang mga taong “fierce” kasi, nakakaangat naman sa buhay at edukado, pero pag nakikita mo, nakakainit ng ulo. Sila yung mga taong cliche sa mundo ng mayayaman at elite. Sumusubok sila na mag-ala Paris Hilton at dala-dala ang mga pet nila bilang accessories, umi-english tuwi-tuwina, dala-dala palagi ang mga DSLR camera nila kahit hindi naman alam gamitin, nagka-camwhore ng walang kamatayan at sa mga litrato nila ay mapapansin mong kita ang siko nila o braso dahil nga sila rin lang naman ang retratista ng sarili nila. Mahilig din silang mag-suot ng high-end na mga damit kahit na papasok lang naman ng school o opisina. Minsan nga ay mapagkakamalan mo pa silang aattend ng party kahit na magrereport lang sila sa school. Kung makikita mo ang isang rich na babaeng nakasuot ng headband na may malaking ribbon (mukhang regalo o Minnie Mouse) ala-Gossip Girl, malamang isa siyang “fierce”.

Masasabi mo ring “fierce” ang ilang brand ng damit, ang pinaka-swak dito ay ang mga produkto ng Penshoppe, kahit naman alam nating hindi pang-fierce na mga tao ang target market nila. Palagay ko, gusto nilang maiparating na ang bawat tao sa mundo ay may karapatang maging “fierce”. Sa totoo lang ay epitome ng pagiging “fierce” ang mga billboards ng Penshoppe with Victor Basa, Heart Evangelista, etc dahil sa mga uber-colorful na damit at shempre, ang no. 1 “fierce” item ngayon, ang lomo toy cam.

Isa pang term sa mga “fierce” ngayon ay “lomo”. So pag sinabi nilang “Lumo-lomo si Ate/Kuya”, malamang alam mo nang fierce sila.

Balik tayo sa “pierce”. Ang mga “pierce” ay kamag-anak ng mga “fierce” dahil hindi mo naman sila mapag-hihiwalay talaga kung titingnan mo lang sila. Parehas sila halos ng damit, fashion statement. Kaso, ang mga pierce ang matatawag mong “mga high-end sa mundo ng kahirapan”. Hindi sila necessarily mayaman, hindi rin necessary na mahirap, pero hindi sila inglisero, hindi rin sila “fierce”. Mapapansin mo rin na ang ilang mga pierce ay kabilang sa mga nouveau riche ng Pilipinas, yung mga taong biglang yaman, mga nanalo sa lotto, sa game show, kumita ng malaki sa carinderia o sa sari-sari store.

Mahuhuli mo lang naman na “pierce” ang isang tao sa isang pagkakataon, kapag nagsalita na sila.

Usapan ng tatlong PIERCE. (galing ito sa isang usapan cum-sketch ng mga kaibigan ko, ni-rehash ko na lang.)

Pierce 1: (opens magazine) Wow, like, angsosyal naman the clothes of Beyons here.

Pierce 2: (looks) Oo nga, in fairness naman kasi, Luwis Vuwiton ang damit niya. Suot niya yata iyan sa concert niya sa Taguig.

Pierce 3: Hoy, angganda ng shirt mo, san mo nabili yan?

Pierce 1: Sa Lacosteh.

Pierce 3: Ay, akala ko sa Verseys.

WOW! PIERCE!

If there’s anything that’s bothering me now, I guess it’s the fact that for about 3 days in the future, I’ll be making my own 5-minute short film for the first time. And when I say my own, I’ll be conceptualizing, writing and directing it ALONE. The first two short films I’ve made, Pass and Happy Holiday, are collaborations with my two lovely college best friends, Max and Mayee, thus forming the short-lived (is it? o dadalhin pa rin natin to sa ibang class? hahaha) ABC Entertainment Productions. (By the way, ABC is from the first letters of our last name, Aguinaldo, Baquiran, Casaclang.) Making those films seem a lot easier and funner since everyone’s just putting their own spice to a material to improve it and if everything failed, we have to at least share the blaim. Kapamilya. Haha.

But now, it’s different. I have to make the concept, improve it to make it into a full-blown story, then write something out of that story to make it a full-blown script. Then I have to plan for the shooting schedules and everything from the equipment to be used to the location etcetera. Then I have to direct it, then after those already tiring days, I still have to edit the film, put sound effects, and so on.

It could be fun if it’s only this thing that I am doing for this semester. But aside from these, I have to do at least 20 pages of paper work and i have to review for the final exams. Okay, that’s a little out of topic, I’m just really desperate to tell how busy and how awful my life is now. Hahaha.

Okay, the main thing that’s bothering me is the fact that there is a possibility (through Murphy’s Law) that I wont be able to pull everything off. I mean, come on, my concept is really ambitious for a first-timer, I’m already doing this non-linear narrative even though my professor advised me to use the simple, linear narrative. Yet what made me decide to go for my original concept is simple: gut feel.

I would love to make my very first film memorable and of course, I want to make my first film with a concept that I really want to make. So if in case my work would be badly received, it will just be okay. At least I have this fact in my mind that I did my work my way because I love it to be like that, than making the film because it’s the thing that others want it to become.

Waaaah. I really wish this film’s an ABC collaboration. I think it’s much funner with my college best buddies. I love Max and Mayee. Haha.

Well, that’s it. I really hope it would turn out great. And yeah, as part of this pre-productiong sickness, I am now experiencing mild insomnia. That’s actually regular to me especially when I’m constantly bothered.


THE UP CINEASTES’ STUDIO’s TURNING 24!

Come and join us in celebrating our 24th year anniversary on September 24-26, 2008.
Watch out for the following activities:

  • Sept. 24, Wednesday
    • Opening of Exhibit (CommRes Lobby)
    • Grand Pakain (Skywalk, 12nn)
  • Sept. 25, Thursday
    • Double Dose: Free Film Screening (CMC Auditorium, 1-4pm)

    • The Original Jologs Quiz Show (Media Center, 4-7pm)

  • Sept. 26, Friday
    • Cineastes Sportsfest (CMC Parking Lot, 4pm)

See you there!

Sorry about the title. I just cant get over Dreamgirls’ Stepping To The Bad Side. Yeah it’s Dreamgirls, I know, but a musical (involving girls dancing and singing) doesnt stop me from appreciating the song. Hahaha.

Well to update about my life, I’m taking everything easier this time since my org’s application process is over, thank God. I now have time for myself and i have time to contemplate on important things like my acads and stuff. Well I’m not saying that my responsibilities as the recruitment head is a burden for me, actually it was more of a chance for me to prove my worth and capabilities. And I love it very much. But of course i cannot deny the fact that I had to lose some time for myself to give way to this important matter. And since it is already finished, I am more thankful.

I have to make up on things I’ve missed. Let us start this!

Okay, I have 3 papers due tomorrow, 2 of them overdue. I already finished two of them. Then suddenly, my ever-beautiful editing-cum-entertainment machine crashes because of an annoying virus designed to shut the computer down automatically.

Tears wont help. I just wish I would be able to finish these papers on time. Or else, good bye.

And I just realized, I have a 9-minute production to edit. Bye world. Hahaha.

Sorry guys pero mukhang natuluyan na talaga itong hiatus ko bilang andami ko talagang ginagawa as in ANDAMI. Hindi ko inexpect na ganitong magiging ka-busy ang sophomore life ko kahit na mind you ay 3 days a week lang akong pumapasok. Mas wala pa akong time ngayon kaysa noong freshie days na 5 days a week ang pasok ko. Damn it. Napakaengaging ko kasi as a person. More acads, more org, more fun. At shempre shoot shoot shoot ng mga productions dahil okay, may production class na ako! Kailangang may konsepto ka lagi para mabilis ang lahat.

Hindi siguro naiintindihan ng magulang ko kung bakit hindi ako pala-uwi ng probinsya o nagdududa ang ate ko dahil laging busy ang sagot ko sa kanya pag tinatanong niya ako ng kamusta. Eh sa iyon ang totoo, okay? Waaaaah kung alam niyo lang lahat ang mga paghihirap at pagpapakasakit ko. Drama.

Di bale after August 23 baka sakaling ayos na ang lahat at magkakaroon na ako ng oras para sa lahat. Well, sana lang ano. Hilingin natin yan sa Diyos.

Namimiss ko nang magblog at magkwento. Namimiss ko na ang traffic sa website ko! Waaaaah.

Salamat.

AkoSiHyro

AkoSiHyro is a blog by Jessehyro Tito P. Aguinaldo, a college senior at the University of the Philippines-Diliman taking BA Film and Audio-Visual Communication, who dreams of just earning enough money regardless of the job.

He is the current Executive Vice President of the UP Cineastes' Studio, the premier student film organization of the Philippines.

He is also a proud member of the Student Alliance for the Advancement of Democratic Rights in UP - College of Mass Communication (STAND UP - CMC).

[MORE about Hyro]

Pages

Blog Stats

  • 25,923 hits

Top Clicks

  • None

Disclaimer

Every literary piece such as poems, prose, and rants posted on this blog cannot be posted elsewhere unless permitted by the owner. Inquiry for permission to repost is hugely appreciated.

AkoSiHyro is a non-profit blog.

The blogger's opinion is his sole opinion and does not necessarily reflect other people's opinion. If opinion/comment/article posted seems too offensive, the blogger suggests readers to leave this blog immediately.