Barely legal.

Yeah. Barely legal. Yet I’m still like this. I hate it.

There
are a lot of times I think of myself as someone who’s already mature
enough to face the world out there. But I still have this fear in me
that I’m really unprepared to be officially legal. Like I want to be
seventeen forever. It’s weird, really really weird that I’m actually
not anticipating the day when I turn an adult. It makes me
so…so…ANGRY of myself. I really don’t know, but just thinking of
that day, thinking of that very day makes me feel sick, like I want to
hit something very hard or keep myself inside a room forever or
something.

But of course, I definitely couldn’t stop time. Every
passing minute is drawing me nearer and nearer to that damned day. Well
I just want to do something significant before that day. I want a
life-changing moment before I leave minorhood (if such term exists).
Just for me to have something to say when I grow old, just for me to be
able to say “I did this when I am seventeen”.

I just want to sleep, because reality is more of a nightmare to me.

Internet Cafe Experience Another

After disgustingly seeing someone making love in front of the internet cafe computer and experiencing the rage and/or grief of one customer and sharing his tears (or mucus, i dont know) literally, strange and often awkward experiences in Internet Cafes are relatively not new to me.

Well sa totoo lang natatawa na naman ako since i’m again into the wonders of the Internet Cafe. See, beside me is a group of noisy, giggling kids (when I say kids, their age is from 8-10). At first, seeing kids in an internet cafe this late at night is already strange, I mean, hindi ba sila hinahanap ng magulang nila?

And of course, pag bata ang naiisip kong may hawak ng computer, ang naiisip ko, naglalaro sila ng dress-up sa my scene o kaya naglalaro ng flash games. And I found out that they’re giggling over their friendster accounts (are kids allowed to have their own accounts?) and are pointing on some photos who they say are their girlfriends.

Well, pinalampas ko lang iyon, okay, then, they started trying to fit their seven bodies on the unfortunate monoblock chair. What are they doing? Well, they want a group photo so the computer beside me was transformed into a photo booth. They are really becoming too noisy and annoying.

So after several minutes, they seemed to be behave (they had put themselves still and quiet) but then I hear strange giggles and hisses. Then I heard one saying “Hoy, angbastos nyo naman”.

To my surprise, I saw them watching porn. And no one seemed to care.

Pasukan na naman

At oras na naman ng mahabang pila, dahil 9 units lang ang naenlist ko sa CRS ay isa na namang pakikipagsapalaran ng palakasan, patatatagan at patigasan ng tuhod sa super habang proseso ng enrollment sa UP.

Siyempre kailangang magtiyaga dahil kung hindi ay wala akong makukuhang subjects. Haaaay, sa lahat ng mga pangyayari sa UP, enrollment ang pinakayaw ko, nakakainis na, nakakapagod pa. Sana na lang ay bakasyon na uli dahil tinatamad na talaga akong pumasok ng eskwela. Burnout siguro ito bilang noong summer ay wala akong bakasyon at sobrang marami ang nangyari last sem.

Oo nga pala, congrats naman sa akin at na-maintain ko ang college scholar standing ko. Angsayasaya naman. Akala ko nung una hindi ako CS dahil sa kabobohan ko sa pagkocompute ng GWA, pero ayun pala okay naman ang average ko. Thank God.