I.
U.P. naming mahal
Pamantasang hirang
Ang tinig namin
Sana’y iyong dinggin
Malayong lupain
Amin mang marating
Di rin magbabago ang damdamin
Di rin magbabago ang damdamin
II.
Luntian at pula
Sagisag magpakailanman
Ating ipagdiwang
Bulwagan ng dangal
Humayo’t itanghal
Giting at tapang
Mabuhay ang pag-asa ng bayan
Mabuhay ang pag-asa ng bayan.
I was singing UP Naming Mahal over and over again. I found a streamed music of UP Naming Mahal and it was sung by the UP Concert Chorus. My sister passed by the computer and heard me singing it. “Masyado ka na yatang engrossed sa UP, kuya”.
Hindi ah.
UP naming mahal…Pamantasang hirang…
Okay, back to reality. I was constantly daydreaming of what will be my life this coming June. I was thinking of how I would cope up with things I usually don’t/can’t do, like being quiet all the while because you don’t have anyone to talk to, like walking a long way for my next class, or like staying in a room I am not used sleeping into. It was like college life was too hard for me and I wasn’t that used to being away from my parents. For sixteen sweet years I was used of being always in my parents’ wing, with all my necessities already laid on a silver platter.
I really want to blame my parents for not letting me experience to be far away from them, for me to attend to my own needs, to do homework without consulting them, and for even letting me choose my clothes to be bought. But only love should be blamed.
I was even near crying one time when I went alone to UP for the first time. It was raining hard that day and I was eating my palabok at the UFS in Vinsons. I look like a loser that moment. I tried to comfort myself by going upstairs to observe some people, then go down.
It was really hard for me to make friends because I do not know the approach I need to do in order to please them. I usually wait for persons to ask my name. I really never introduced myself to anybody.
The worst thing that time is that I really don’t know where should I wait for a Pantranco ride to go back to my cousin’s house. There are a lot of people waiting outside Vinsons, but I really don’t know what line should I take and what line really leads to a Pantranco ride. I even took the wrong line.
Being a probinsyano was really a disadvantage. Being loved so much was a disadvantage, too. Mahirap mag-isa, lalo na kapag wala kang alam. Kaya nakakatakot mag-aral lalo na at malayo ka sa magulang mo. Would I appreciate my UP life when all the time I am really alone and sad? Sabi nila masaya naman ang UP life pero paano akong magiging masaya? I really want freedom but what if I cannot exercise this freedom well?
Mahirap, pero kaya yan. Kayang kaya yan. Ako pa.
15 comments
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May 17, 2007 at 4:47 am
SLR
Hi, I found your journal through reading bikoy.net. I’ve been following his blog since his early beginnings and found yours interesting too. π
I hope your insecurities lessen as you continue your college experience. I too had some similar feelings when first entering college yet if you try and open up and become more positive then things will become brighter. Good luck!
May 17, 2007 at 11:38 am
hyro
Hello!
Salamat po sa pagbisita! Thanks for your concern! Alam ko little by little eh maoovercome ko rin itong insecurities ko. π Though alam ko ngang hindi pwedeng biglaang mawala, eh kakayanin naman kahit unti-unti.
May 17, 2007 at 12:32 pm
Coreen
Aww, thanks for the comments, Hyro! π Yeah, I think you should go for news although pinakamahirap daw yun sabi nila.
Hmmn. Ako naman I kind of wish na we didn’t have a house here para they could send me to a boarding house or something! π I guess masaya talaga yung feeling of independence.
Kaya mo yan, ikaw pa. π Makaka-adjust ka sooner or later. People from UP are warm and friendly, and hindi ka maiintimidate. Or at least that’s how I see them. Haha. San ka right now?
May 17, 2007 at 12:50 pm
hyro
Nasa Nueva Ecija po ako ngayon though baka next week back to manila uli ako. Haaay. Nasasanay na ako sa pollution at iniit don. Hehehe.
May 17, 2007 at 3:45 pm
bj
hi i found ur blog tru bikoy, dats d power of networking nga naman, anyway being a probinsyano is sumwat carries advantage din naman, beliv me, im also a probinsyano, but di na ako pumuntang manila, marami naman kasing skol d2, adjust lang naman yan, u can make friends.. dnt wait for them to say hi to you especially sa mga girls, un lang muna. Godbless bro.
May 17, 2007 at 4:05 pm
hyro
Hahaha. Salamat po bj. π
May 17, 2007 at 4:46 pm
bikoy
hayy, your entry made me reminisce on my own first day freshman experiences in UP. marami ka pang matutuklasan. its one hell of a journey.
May 17, 2007 at 7:01 pm
Anna
Don’t feel insecure dahil sa promdi ka or whatevs. Ako, I grew up here in Manila and have met quite a lot of promdi people na rin; kung di man meet, I have encountered quite a lot and sa aking point of view, okay lang naman sila. Di ko naman sila pinagtatawanan or minamaliit o kahit ano mang trato na negative. Sa tingin ko konti nalang ang may underrated na tingin sa mga promdi.
There’s no way but up :).
May 18, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Neil
I guess you should’nt feel bad na you’re promdi. With the overwhelming powers of mass media, I guess television didn’t leave you behind. Besides, those who ridicule your so-called ‘innocence’ about their so-called ‘urban living’ prove that they’re nothing but platypuses.
Haaay…. ikaw, you’re gonna enter palang college. Me? One year na lang… haaay….
May 18, 2007 at 2:14 pm
hyro
Wow. I really appreciate all of your concern. Salamat po, kuya bikoy, Anna, at kuya Neil. π
May 19, 2007 at 10:09 pm
benj
Cavite ka ba? Kamag anak mo ba ang mga Datiles? π
May 19, 2007 at 10:53 pm
hyro
Hindi po. π Tiga Nueva Ecija po ako eh. Pero hindi ko lang alam. π
May 19, 2007 at 11:27 pm
benj
Ah ok. Descendant ka ba ni Emilio? π May post ako na nahuli ng Akismet. Andun yung links nung mga hosts na sinasabi ko.
May 19, 2007 at 11:36 pm
hyro
I think hindi po. Ahaha. Aguinaldo was really not our original surname. Haha. Long story. π
Thanks!
June 2, 2007 at 11:30 pm
Ederic
Hayaan mong turuan ka ng iyong karanasan sa UP. π
‘Yung first day ko, kung tama ang pagkakaalala ko, ay sa isang klase sa AS. Ang alam ko, ihinatid pa ako pinsan ko sa kotse niya–so medyo sosyal, hehe. Pero lumabas ang natural nang nasa classroom na. Sobrang tahimik ko at parang takot sa mga kaklase ko. Hehe.
Pero malalagpasan mo rin ‘yan. Lalo na’t nasa MassComm ka. π