U.P. naming mahal
Pamantasang hirang
Ang tinig namin
Sana’y iyong dinggin
Malayong lupain
Amin mang marating
Di rin magbabago ang damdamin
Di rin magbabago ang damdamin
Luntian at pula
Sagisag magpakailanman
Ating ipagdiwang
Bulwagan ng dangal
Humayo’t itanghal
Giting at tapang
Mabuhay ang pag-asa ng bayan
Mabuhay ang pag-asa ng bayan.

I was singing UP Naming Mahal over and over again. I found a streamed music of UP Naming Mahal and it was sung by the UP Concert Chorus. My sister passed by the computer and heard me singing it. “Masyado ka na yatang engrossed sa UP, kuya”.

Hindi ah.

UP naming mahal…Pamantasang hirang…

Okay, back to reality. I was constantly daydreaming of what will be my life this coming June. I was thinking of how I would cope up with things I usually don’t/can’t do, like being quiet all the while because you don’t have anyone to talk to, like walking a long way for my next class, or like staying in a room I am not used sleeping into. It was like college life was too hard for me and I wasn’t that used to being away from my parents. For sixteen sweet years I was used of being always in my parents’ wing, with all my necessities already laid on a silver platter.

I really want to blame my parents for not letting me experience to be far away from them, for me to attend to my own needs, to do homework without consulting them, and for even letting me choose my clothes to be bought. But only love should be blamed.

I was even near crying one time when I went alone to UP for the first time. It was raining hard that day and I was eating my palabok at the UFS in Vinsons. I look like a loser that moment. I tried to comfort myself by going upstairs to observe some people, then go down.

It was really hard for me to make friends because I do not know the approach I need to do in order to please them. I usually wait for persons to ask my name. I really never introduced myself to anybody.

The worst thing that time is that I really don’t know where should I wait for a Pantranco ride to go back to my cousin’s house. There are a lot of people waiting outside Vinsons, but I really don’t know what line should I take and what line really leads to a Pantranco ride. I even took the wrong line.

Being a probinsyano was really a disadvantage. Being loved so much was a disadvantage, too. Mahirap mag-isa, lalo na kapag wala kang alam. Kaya nakakatakot mag-aral lalo na at malayo ka sa magulang mo. Would I appreciate my UP life when all the time I am really alone and sad? Sabi nila masaya naman ang UP life pero paano akong magiging masaya? I really want freedom but what if I cannot exercise this freedom well?

Mahirap, pero kaya yan. Kayang kaya yan. Ako pa.